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So entrenched in the general pragmatism of pretending to enjoy yourself, you have forgotten what being happy feels like. Most assuredly, you are the poster child for extroverts. Never should an individual have the audacity to undermine your functioning false dichotomy. Vague and disingenuous are the way of the future!
Moods and expectations are one and the same! Far be it from you to disappoint. Indeed, that duct tape over your mouth hides your frown well. I must congratulate you for sticking to your guns. Everyone else admits to being miserable, you would never have the conceit.
Lets play a game, you and I. You tell me what your favorite color is, and I will predict your future. Ready? GO!
No
One
Is
Ever
Happy
All
Of
The
Time
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
I'm Back! And I have cup cakes.
Hello readers, old and new! Whilst I was cleaning out my docs folder, I discovered drafts of AllMyBs posts. I have decided to breeth some life into my corner of the internets. I hope to turn a once half hearted blog into a serious project.
For posterity's sake, I feel it is only fair to admit that I am much less cynical now then I was when I started posting here before. Nonetheless, you will find I still adept at the art of complaint. I leave you a few recent gems.
•Dear cupcake,
Your romantic partner isn’t required to inject dopamine into your spine every forty five minutes.
Love,
Giggles the cocaine hunting police dog.
•Today I sold a person a with pink eye extenze.
•“How are you today?”
“Vicious”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“If obligatory conversations were a person, I would break his neck. Try me sometime.”
•I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I think your special man-fella is a victim of over zealous chromosomes.
•Did you know that statistically all of us will have the following experience at least once? You will be out in public, and a total stranger will look at you and think, that looks delicious.
•You know that feeling you get when you step into a shower that is the perfect temperature, after you had a really satisfying bowel movement? I am more or less the exact opposite of that right now.
•”You asked if I had an I.D. not if you could see it”
“I try not to be pedantic at work”
•”If the universe spontaneously big crunches and we become a swirling singularity of energy with no autonomy, do you really want the last thing you say to me to be: we are fighting?”
”No, your right. I love you.”
“I love you to”
•You would think as creatures with a linear understanding of time and causality, some of us would have a mastery of the relationship between matter and space!
Definition of the post:
Gre•tard: |gaer-é-tard|
1 [Adj.] a high level player with poor mechanics.
2 [Informal] a scrub, esp. with poor game sense.
"I can't believe that guy was in diamond. What a Gretard!"
Etymology: Derived from Gretrop, a high level Starcraft 2 player with poor mechanics.
For posterity's sake, I feel it is only fair to admit that I am much less cynical now then I was when I started posting here before. Nonetheless, you will find I still adept at the art of complaint. I leave you a few recent gems.
•Dear cupcake,
Your romantic partner isn’t required to inject dopamine into your spine every forty five minutes.
Love,
Giggles the cocaine hunting police dog.
•Today I sold a person a with pink eye extenze.
•“How are you today?”
“Vicious”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“If obligatory conversations were a person, I would break his neck. Try me sometime.”
•I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I think your special man-fella is a victim of over zealous chromosomes.
•Did you know that statistically all of us will have the following experience at least once? You will be out in public, and a total stranger will look at you and think, that looks delicious.
•You know that feeling you get when you step into a shower that is the perfect temperature, after you had a really satisfying bowel movement? I am more or less the exact opposite of that right now.
•”You asked if I had an I.D. not if you could see it”
“I try not to be pedantic at work”
•”If the universe spontaneously big crunches and we become a swirling singularity of energy with no autonomy, do you really want the last thing you say to me to be: we are fighting?”
”No, your right. I love you.”
“I love you to”
•You would think as creatures with a linear understanding of time and causality, some of us would have a mastery of the relationship between matter and space!
Definition of the post:
Gre•tard: |gaer-é-tard|
1 [Adj.] a high level player with poor mechanics.
2 [Informal] a scrub, esp. with poor game sense.
"I can't believe that guy was in diamond. What a Gretard!"
Etymology: Derived from Gretrop, a high level Starcraft 2 player with poor mechanics.
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