Window Effect

    Every time a new release of windows comes out, I am approached by several people who ask me what I think of it. There is a fool proof way to predict what the next installment of windows will be like.

    Gather 'round children, its time for a story. Our tale begins in the mid 1990's. A time when the word “Hardware” could finally leave a persons lips without a sense of irony. Paper tapes were finally a thing of the past. CD drives and floppy disks for all! Out of the woodwork, an unlikely hero emerged. It's name was Windows 95. Known for its unreasonable system resource usage, imaginative error messages, and the even more famous blue screen of [fatal error] death, Windows 95 irritated the masses. But our hero['s luck] was not made to last. For the masses responded to Windows 95's incompatibility and overall uselessness with contempt and malice. They revolted with unspeakable acts of monitor violation and computer defenestration!
    Out of the fecal matter arose a new kind of windows... Windows 98. Windows 98 is basically a copy and paste of Windows 95 with less frequent errors.  And so the people crowned Windows 98 the king of the PC (preschool computing, pre-calculator, PiecE'o'Crap). But the time came when Windows 98 could no longer provide the proper level of instability.
    At this point in the story we are just leaving the stone age. It is year 2000. And the Microsoft NT (Not Technology, Neanderthal Technology) Sub series brings us Windows 2000 (Millennium, ME, 2k, Windows PooThousand). This addition was a new kind of failure. Instead of trying to do everything, and failing in the most hilarious way possible, Windows 2000 did a few things reasonably okay, and ignored everything else. With a mighty 256 Megabytes of ram, the once herculean task of having four windows open a once became child's play. With a slightly larger resolution, Windows 2000 surfed the internet are a staggering (LIES!) 4 pages a minute. 
    As time went on, Windows 2000 became obsolete. It was replaced by an installment of windows that is often (cited in arguments by people who don't understand computers) called the best windows, Windows Xp (Xanthine-less Piss). Windows Xp was stable (Car Crash) for the most part, but weaker then competing operating systems of that time period. Windows Xp is the most popular windows, because it crashes less.
    Contrary to popular believe, Windows Xp was the last installment to have been released to date. But lo our story continues! Windows 95 is reborn. Blue Screen thy name is Vista. Windows Vista is the same thing as Windows 95. Microsoft tries to fool its users into thinking they have purchased a newer operating system with UAC (User Annoyance Continuum), and a better look GUI. But don't be fool! Likewise, Windows 7 is simply a repackaging of Windows 98. The next installment of Windows will be a repacking of Windows 2000, and so forth. This phenomenon call The Windows Cycle. The windows Cycle is simply the systematic recycling of older operating systems. We are currently on Phase II of The Windows Cycle. So by understanding the The Windows Cycle, you can know what the  next addition of windows will be like. Going on Microsoft's previous release patterns the second coming of Windows Xp will be out in about a decade, give or take a few years.

    Stop asking what I think of the new windows. They all suck so get over it