Call on lane two

You were born with a mouth in your head, not a cell phone. I know it may seem out of date to you, but please speak to me in a manner that doesn’t cost 20 cents a minute. While we are talking about money: texting costs money, email is free. You don’t need to be constantly communicating with everyone all the time.
    Stop texting while driving. Its obnoxious, and in case you didn’t notice there are 4000+ pound metal subcompacts traveling at 60 miles an hour around you. I would think you should be more focused on avoiding a collision then chatting with your BFF about how you ROLF’ed at the homeless guy on main street because he was being mugged by an accountant. So when you drive off a bridge while texting, at least you will get the last lol. 
    The thing that irritates me the most are these yuppies that complain about there being to much materialism in America, but they can’t put their phones down long enough to say hello. If your spending time with me, but your more focused on texting other people then the conversation we are having, the message your sending me is that you would rather be talking to them, and your just giving me lip service.