Posts
So entrenched in the general pragmatism of pretending to enjoy yourself, you have forgotten what being happy feels like. Most assuredly, you are the poster child for extroverts. Never should an individual have the audacity to undermine your functioning false dichotomy. Vague and disingenuous are the way of the future!
Moods and expectations are one and the same! Far be it from you to disappoint. Indeed, that duct tape over your mouth hides your frown well. I must congratulate you for sticking to your guns. Everyone else admits to being miserable, you would never have the conceit.
Lets play a game, you and I. You tell me what your favorite color is, and I will predict your future. Ready? GO!
No
One
Is
Ever
Happy
All
Of
The
Time
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
I'm Back! And I have cup cakes.
Hello readers, old and new! Whilst I was cleaning out my docs folder, I discovered drafts of AllMyBs posts. I have decided to breeth some life into my corner of the internets. I hope to turn a once half hearted blog into a serious project.
For posterity's sake, I feel it is only fair to admit that I am much less cynical now then I was when I started posting here before. Nonetheless, you will find I still adept at the art of complaint. I leave you a few recent gems.
•Dear cupcake,
Your romantic partner isn’t required to inject dopamine into your spine every forty five minutes.
Love,
Giggles the cocaine hunting police dog.
•Today I sold a person a with pink eye extenze.
•“How are you today?”
“Vicious”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“If obligatory conversations were a person, I would break his neck. Try me sometime.”
•I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I think your special man-fella is a victim of over zealous chromosomes.
•Did you know that statistically all of us will have the following experience at least once? You will be out in public, and a total stranger will look at you and think, that looks delicious.
•You know that feeling you get when you step into a shower that is the perfect temperature, after you had a really satisfying bowel movement? I am more or less the exact opposite of that right now.
•”You asked if I had an I.D. not if you could see it”
“I try not to be pedantic at work”
•”If the universe spontaneously big crunches and we become a swirling singularity of energy with no autonomy, do you really want the last thing you say to me to be: we are fighting?”
”No, your right. I love you.”
“I love you to”
•You would think as creatures with a linear understanding of time and causality, some of us would have a mastery of the relationship between matter and space!
Definition of the post:
Gre•tard: |gaer-é-tard|
1 [Adj.] a high level player with poor mechanics.
2 [Informal] a scrub, esp. with poor game sense.
"I can't believe that guy was in diamond. What a Gretard!"
Etymology: Derived from Gretrop, a high level Starcraft 2 player with poor mechanics.
For posterity's sake, I feel it is only fair to admit that I am much less cynical now then I was when I started posting here before. Nonetheless, you will find I still adept at the art of complaint. I leave you a few recent gems.
•Dear cupcake,
Your romantic partner isn’t required to inject dopamine into your spine every forty five minutes.
Love,
Giggles the cocaine hunting police dog.
•Today I sold a person a with pink eye extenze.
•“How are you today?”
“Vicious”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“If obligatory conversations were a person, I would break his neck. Try me sometime.”
•I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I think your special man-fella is a victim of over zealous chromosomes.
•Did you know that statistically all of us will have the following experience at least once? You will be out in public, and a total stranger will look at you and think, that looks delicious.
•You know that feeling you get when you step into a shower that is the perfect temperature, after you had a really satisfying bowel movement? I am more or less the exact opposite of that right now.
•”You asked if I had an I.D. not if you could see it”
“I try not to be pedantic at work”
•”If the universe spontaneously big crunches and we become a swirling singularity of energy with no autonomy, do you really want the last thing you say to me to be: we are fighting?”
”No, your right. I love you.”
“I love you to”
•You would think as creatures with a linear understanding of time and causality, some of us would have a mastery of the relationship between matter and space!
Definition of the post:
Gre•tard: |gaer-é-tard|
1 [Adj.] a high level player with poor mechanics.
2 [Informal] a scrub, esp. with poor game sense.
"I can't believe that guy was in diamond. What a Gretard!"
Etymology: Derived from Gretrop, a high level Starcraft 2 player with poor mechanics.
Monday, September 13, 2010
An anger jew he is not.
I have never done a post about atheism, but it should be no secret that I am one. My take on theology usually has a negligible impact on how I interpret the world. On this occasion, however, the atheism of All-My-Bs must come to fruition in full, if my comments are to make sense. Now, on to the meat of the matter
Some of you may have seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51-EJObUt-o. This hit a raw nerve with me. Listen to the rabbi’s rhetoric. Atheists are “Parasites”, benefiting from the fruits of a religious construct. He goes on as if to say “This is OUR America, how dare you act contrary to my idea of reality!” At this point I would like to address Daniel Lapin directly. I know he will never read this, but I don’t care.
Alright look dick head, Here are a few concepts you might not have considered:
Most Atheists de-converted from a religion. Thats right, some people are actually unhappy with religion. The only positive correlation between deep religious faith and quality of life is the one you fabricated. What do you say to the children whose parents think prayer is an effective alternative to medical treatment. Statistically speaking “Your fucked” is about the most accurate you can get. Or if you prefer a more demonstrable example, how do you explain the religious justification for marginalizing and oppressing numerous groups of people. When you say “enhancing of life” by faith, why do I get the feeling you mean “enhancing quality of life for ME and MY people.” Get with the melting pot mother fucker.
I would like to add a disclaimer for my religious readers (if you are indeed still reading at this point). I acknowledge that faith comes in many nuances, and that religion can be a force for good. I don’t hate religion or religious people. My issue with religion is strictly when it is used as a political force. In the immortal words of youtube[.com]’s FightingAtheist: actions are more important then believes.
Some of you may have seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51-EJObUt-o. This hit a raw nerve with me. Listen to the rabbi’s rhetoric. Atheists are “Parasites”, benefiting from the fruits of a religious construct. He goes on as if to say “This is OUR America, how dare you act contrary to my idea of reality!” At this point I would like to address Daniel Lapin directly. I know he will never read this, but I don’t care.
Alright look dick head, Here are a few concepts you might not have considered:
Most Atheists de-converted from a religion. Thats right, some people are actually unhappy with religion. The only positive correlation between deep religious faith and quality of life is the one you fabricated. What do you say to the children whose parents think prayer is an effective alternative to medical treatment. Statistically speaking “Your fucked” is about the most accurate you can get. Or if you prefer a more demonstrable example, how do you explain the religious justification for marginalizing and oppressing numerous groups of people. When you say “enhancing of life” by faith, why do I get the feeling you mean “enhancing quality of life for ME and MY people.” Get with the melting pot mother fucker.
I would like to add a disclaimer for my religious readers (if you are indeed still reading at this point). I acknowledge that faith comes in many nuances, and that religion can be a force for good. I don’t hate religion or religious people. My issue with religion is strictly when it is used as a political force. In the immortal words of youtube[.com]’s FightingAtheist: actions are more important then believes.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The last thing a nastagic weather man sees.
Dear present and future retail employeers,
I am not a myopic benevolent non-person-employee robot zombie for hire. I am, however, open to sugjestions.
I am not a myopic benevolent non-person-employee robot zombie for hire. I am, however, open to sugjestions.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
AntennaGate for dumbies
Would one of the fuckwads from the antenna-gate camp please explain to me what apple stands to gain by releasing a defective product? To me, this situation smacks of anti-apple fanboys taking the piss. I have a hard to time giving the benefit of the doubt here, because if you actually bother to study the technology involved you will discover that this is an issue that is relevant to all wireless devices, in one way or another.
For example, Electromagnetic radiation (radio waves, mircowaves, gamma rays, ect) are absorbed by metals (some elements do so more then others). This is why the dentist gives you lead (Pb) padding when you get an xray. Wireless routers can experience interference from high water content, metals, and devises that generate some kinds of radiation, such as a microwave.
So what am I trying to get at here? My point is this: a fish tank will cause interference for a router if put in the correct place, and you morons are surprised when covering a wireless antenna reduces signal strength. Well jesus H. Christ private! You can come to my house and fuck my sister.
For example, Electromagnetic radiation (radio waves, mircowaves, gamma rays, ect) are absorbed by metals (some elements do so more then others). This is why the dentist gives you lead (Pb) padding when you get an xray. Wireless routers can experience interference from high water content, metals, and devises that generate some kinds of radiation, such as a microwave.
So what am I trying to get at here? My point is this: a fish tank will cause interference for a router if put in the correct place, and you morons are surprised when covering a wireless antenna reduces signal strength. Well jesus H. Christ private! You can come to my house and fuck my sister.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Dear Ray Comforts of the world
For those creationists who claim that there are not transitional fossils:
http://tinyurl.com/2u49p9j
http://tinyurl.com/2u49p9j
Friday, June 18, 2010
A room full of true scotsmen
Which of the following activities sounds worse to you; using curse words (fuck, ass, cunt and so forth), or lynching a person because of skin color. If you choose the latter, and you are among the many [US of] Americans who go on about the “decline of morality”, then would you please explain to me when this morally centered American existed?
If you think that the conspicuous absence of an arbitrary set of words in everyday language is a larger moral step backwards then segregation by race then maybe you don’t mean the same thing that I do when you say ‘morality’. My point is that a population desensitized to a set of nebulas words that aren't actually a good cause for offense in the first place is a poor metric to measure anything, morality least of all. Come to think of it no such metric exists. Elements of society change at a fair rate, some things improving while others take a turn for the worse. With this in mind I don’t think one can make a generalized statement about morality overall, and would be hard pressed to justified it.
In hindsight I think its fair to say that things have progressed a fair bit. Woman can vote, black people are not slaves, and coming out as gay is only political suicide, as apposed to before when it was just outright suicide.
In conclusion the use of swear words without scruple is not evidence of a decline of morality. Rather, it is evidence of a change in morality. There is nothing wrong with discarding a dogmatic and outmoded convention that never accomplished anything in the first place.
On a side note: I mentioned a few posts ago that I was going to do another piece on windows. That got hung up a bit but is back in the works. Stay tuned.
If you think that the conspicuous absence of an arbitrary set of words in everyday language is a larger moral step backwards then segregation by race then maybe you don’t mean the same thing that I do when you say ‘morality’. My point is that a population desensitized to a set of nebulas words that aren't actually a good cause for offense in the first place is a poor metric to measure anything, morality least of all. Come to think of it no such metric exists. Elements of society change at a fair rate, some things improving while others take a turn for the worse. With this in mind I don’t think one can make a generalized statement about morality overall, and would be hard pressed to justified it.
In hindsight I think its fair to say that things have progressed a fair bit. Woman can vote, black people are not slaves, and coming out as gay is only political suicide, as apposed to before when it was just outright suicide.
In conclusion the use of swear words without scruple is not evidence of a decline of morality. Rather, it is evidence of a change in morality. There is nothing wrong with discarding a dogmatic and outmoded convention that never accomplished anything in the first place.
On a side note: I mentioned a few posts ago that I was going to do another piece on windows. That got hung up a bit but is back in the works. Stay tuned.
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